The Art of Building a Family
Love can be compared to being drunk or under the influence of drugs; Just as someone who is intoxicated is unable to accept advice, individuals who are infatuated also tend to dismiss or ignore any guidance offered to them. However, love tends to fade soon after marriage. This fading occurs due to various reasons such as work stress, children's problems, lack of respect for one another after marriage, arising conflicts, health issues, the involvement of in-laws, differences in personal character, and so on. As love diminishes, individuals can become more impatient and less tolerant of one another. They may speak harshly, argue, place blame on each other, and a myriad of misunderstandings can ariseOver time. Such behavior can ultimately result in the breakdown of a marriage or relationship between spouses. Separating in these circumstances is not only unsuitable but also fails to address the underlying issue effectively. Although a husband or wife may initially experience temporary relief when separating from their spouse due to feelings of hatred or resentment, this decision often leads to significant emotional pain, sadness, loneliness, and insecurity for the children involved. As a result, divorce might not be the most suitable solution in these cases, particularly when considering the well-being of both parents and their children. Therefore, divorce is not the best solution.
God condemns the practice of divorce. He explicitly mentions that engaging in any form of physical intimacy with a woman who is already married to another man is considered adultery. "Do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 16 'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect,' says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful." (Malachi 2:15-16). Jesus also said, "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Matthew 19:6). The church also hates and does not approve of divorce either. Children are the most hurt and emotionally scarred by parental separation, and family members too do not like to see a couple separated. Therefore, who would approve of divorce? It is Satan? Do you wish to align yourseft with Satan by supporting his stance?
Divorce can sometimes happen as a result of being overly focused on one's career or financial success, which may strain the relationship between partners. When someone spends an excessive amount of time working, they inevitably spend less time with their spouse, causing the love between them to fade. Love is built through shared experiences and companionship, as developing a bond through daily interaction can strengthen it over time. In the initial stages of a relationship, due to financial limitations, couples often experience closeness with one another. However, as financial concerns diminish, differing preferences can lead to disagreements. Wealthier individuals are more likely to experience marital separation than those with fewer financial means. Consequently, building a family based solely on wealth is not the most ideal approach.
Hence, how should a family be built? God must be given permission to construct it. How can this be achieved? Both husband and wife must be people who have a relationship with God, meaning they are saved. Only then can the Holy Spirit of God speak through the spirit of the husband and wife. How will He speak? The Lord speaks to man through Scripture. Only those who have received the Holy Spirit can understand the true meaning of Scripture. Paul said, God has revealed His wisdom to us through His Spirit. (1 Corinthians 2:9-10) Therefore, both husband and wife must be people who read the Bible accurately, consider God's Word, value it, and obey it. They should put aside their own opinions, preferences, and desires, choosing instead to adopt God's perspective, will, and purposes. Scripture says, "Can two walk together unless they agree?" (Amos 3:3) Only when both husband and wife have the same vision can they agree with each other. When they agree, all things will be accomplished successfully. Therefore, let us establish our families based on the Lord's foundation from this point forward.
Those who prioritize their work and hobbies over their spouse often end up causing problems in the family. Eventually, these situations lead to fights, conflicts, imprisonment, or divorce. Just as we try to prevent a fire before it starts, so too should we take precautions to avoid marital disputes. Do not chase after money and worldly possessions. A healthy family brings happiness and peace of mind.
A family is not only made up of a husband and wife; it also includes children. Children have their own thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Even if both parents are in complete agreement, disagreements between them and their children can lead to problems. Therefore, parents need to educate their children.
The Bible says: "Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court." (Psalm 127:3-5). This passage compares children to arrows in the hands of a warrior. Just as an arrow cannot shoot itself and must be shot by the archer, parents must guide their children through life. This illustration emphasizes the importance of parental guidance and involvement in raising and nurturing their offsprings.
Parents often strive for their children's worldly success, such as obtaining a solid education and having favorable marriage prospects; However, in the process, they might sometimes overlook the significance of nurturing their children's spiritual development. Additionally, by providing children with modern electronic gadgets like smartphones and iPads, parents often try to prevent disturbances, but this approach inadvertently fosters emotional detachment between them and their children. These devices can cloud young minds' clarity and hinder the development of essential interpersonal skills. When parents fail to instill biblical principles or encourage active participation in the Church's teachings, a lack of guidance becomes a significant concern. In these situations, children may grow up to become troublemakers. If conflicts between parents and their children cannot be resolved, potential outcomes can include physical discipline, eviction from home, involvement with law enforcement, incarceration, and a pattern of disruptive behavior. Thus, it is crucial for parents to prioritize spiritual guidance alongside worldly achievements to ensure their children's overall well-being and personal growth.
To avoid such scenarios, it is crucial for parents to prioritize teaching their children about God's Word while there is still time. Parents should read the Bible and study other related Christian books in order to be able to teach them effectively. Prayer and collaboration with the Church are also essential components of this process. By actively engaging in spiritual instruction and fostering a strong faith community, parents can better equip their children for personal growth and success in all aspects of life.
